Ask the Stress Doc -- Q & A

Ask the Stress Doc Q & A/Digital City--Washington, DC Work Stress

1) Facilitating the Handling of an Administrative Tyrant

Dear Mark, I realize you must get thousands of e-mails, and this might not reach you in time, but I thought it was worth the chance that you might read it and e-mail me back before the deadline....September 8,1999. I work in the research nursing field employed by Washington University in St. Louis. I am the sole survivor (the only employee to stay since the beginning of a 6 year study...that started 3 1/2 years ago) of original employees, with a record of 16 people having left our small department (8 to 10 people) all due to our boss. To use your words, she is the "TYRANNOSAURUS ADMINISTRATUS" and "TYRANT QUEEN" rolled into one!

She is mean spirited, even evil in her actions, and seems to 'thrive' on the misery she causes within our department. She has a destructive and demoralizing leadership style, micromanages your every move and even tries to tell employees they cannot socialize outside the job, cannot talk to each other on the job, and makes statements like "your excessive overtime is appreciated......but also expected" and "lunch is a privilege, not an automatic." Our complaints to our doctor (her superior) has fallen on deaf ears over the past 3 1/2 years, with comments like "just humor her" and "just try and get along."

Finally, at a recent NIH (National Institute of Health) site visit, we (the employees) were asked by the officials "what is going on here?" With a little reluctance, we told them everything. To our amazement, they contacted our physician and insisted on a plan of action. The NIH visitors again came to our site (one month later) and met with our doctor and the employees to announce we will be visited on Sept. 8th by a facilitator. We were to e-mail him with answers to 3 questions he posed: 1) what are the challenges you face in the performance of your job? 2) are there any barriers that prevent you from full effectiveness in the work you do? 3) what are your suggestions for tackling the challenges and changing what you perceive as barriers to your job performance? We have been told it was mandatory to send a response, and were guaranteed our jobs would not be in jeopardy. We were encouraged to speak freely in the all day session, which will be uncomfortable at the very least. We were told to let it all out, and to voice in front of our boss what we feel the problems are. Needless to say, we are all becoming very nervous about the upcoming meeting...however after reading you site this evening, I am even more alarmed. In one section, (I believe it was about a group of lawyers) you mentioned a facilitator's visit that ended in disaster! How do we make this a productive visit? It is my impression that the agenda is to be a fifteen minute visit with each employee, followed by a group "discussion" with the boss from hell. The agenda leaves about 5 hours to "discuss," followed by a meeting (facilitator and boss from hell). After this, a group session to "wrap up" and discuss the facilitators findings. Please advise as to what we could or should do to make this (as I have said before) a productive session. What should we be worried about, what should and shouldn't we discuss? Any advise would be appreciated! Thanks for listening.......

Q. I'm sorry my hyperbolic phrasings were not much of an exaggeration. I agree, the situation calls for "t n t" strategies and techniques: being "truthful" and "tactful." First, I like the fact that people will have an individual session with the facilitator. Hopefully, he or she will be able to distill the comments into constructive criticisms. Also, positive framing helps: how the department can go from a top down administrative style to a more team participatory one?

Also, instead of focusing on what the boss does wrong (that blame session could last for days) try to articulate what changes in her management or communication style (as opposed to her obnoxious personality) would help make your unit more productive and cohesive. Of course, don't make this critique one-sided. Be prepared to articulate changes that employees also need to make to enhance supervisor-employee relations and team functioning. At minimum, team members can't operate for long under such tyrannical leadership without developing some dysfunctional survival patterns.

Speaking of dysfunctional, the doctor should be a part of this process as he is in denial about her impact and is enabling Ms. Tyrannosaurus. I would strongly point this out to the facilitator.

Also, in the individual sessions, make sure people tell the facilitator that they fear reprisal or have doubts about being protected by the doctor. In fact, at some point why people feel reluctant to give feedback could be a useful item for discussion.

Finally, this facilitator should recommend individual coaching for the administrator (and the doctor) and some ongoing team building sessions. (Of course, I'm rested and ready. ;-) I don't have great faith that the Tyrant Queen and her figure head boss will give up their reptilian and enabling ways in a day. Still, you don't have much choice but to participate in the process. For if nothing of substance is accomplished, it may finally be time for you to move on. Just remember...Practice Safe Stress!

Mark Gorkin, LICSW, the Stress Doc, a psychotherapist and nationally recognized speaker, trainer, consultant and author, is also known as AOL's and the internet's "Online Psychohumorist" ™. Check out his USA Today Online "Hot Site" website - www.stressdoc.com  and his page on AOL/Online Psych, Keyword: Stress Doc

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