Ask the Stress Doc -- Q & A

Ask the Stress Doc Q & A/Digital City--Washington, DC Work Stress

1) Coping with Control Freak Bosses

Q. What can I do about two very pushy bosses? I have been on my job for over 12 years. Only take off when the office business is at a low time. I have trained one boss and help the other control freak out with company problems. They still want to tell me how long it takes to do a task. They are both new to our company. I work about 10-11 hours, 5 days a week, with no lunch break; just maybe a few 3 mins away from my desk. My job is one of those jobs where I am on salary and the jobs (many) are due at the same time, along with attending meetings, at a notice. Help if you can.

A. I'll give these guys the benefit of the doubt: some of their control freakishness is due to being new to the company. alas, type A corporate cowboys tend to get more intense and grip harder on the reins when feeling unsure and new on the range. I recall working hard to get a senior salesman give a begrudging compliment to a new, young abrasive CEO. This finally dissolved the power struggle between the two win/lose egos. Here are other strategic suggestions: 1) Are you the only one reporting to or working with these guys? If not, sometimes there is support in numbers. Perhaps a group of you who have been exposed to these "stress carriers" (you know, the person who doesn't get ulcers...just gives them) can call a meeting and discuss what I call "The Triple A of Organizational Productivity and Responsibility": Balancing Authority, Autonomy and Accountability, 2) Another option is to meet just the three of you and play each against the other: point out how they are giving you conflicting orders, impeding your accomplishing tasks for each one, etc. In other words, put the monkey on their backs for a change, 3) Sometimes gender is a problem-solving reality. You may need to find a male colleague/buddy of the bosses. Win him over to your cause and have him try to get through to these blockheads, and 4) If all of the above is a wash, then go south...South Pacific: "Wash those men right out of your hair, and your career path! Remember, the real bottom line...Practice Safe Stress!

Mark Gorkin, LICSW, the Stress Doc, a psychotherapist and nationally recognized speaker, trainer, consultant and author, is also known as AOL's and the internet's "Online Psychohumorist" ™. Check out his USA Today Online "Hot Site" website - www.stressdoc.com  and his page on AOL/Online Psych, Keyword: Stress Doc

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