Ask the Stress Doc -- Q & A
Love & Relationships

1) Long Distance Youthful Online Love: Real or Virtual?

Q. A while back, a girl named Caroline started talking to me. We have grown to like each other a lot!! We have seen each other's pictures and we've talked to some of each other's friends also. She dumped her prom date (and I asked her friends if she really did and she was telling the truth) to prove to me she didn't have a boyfriend. She lives in Maryland and I live in Michigan. It is about 600 miles to drive, but I plan to go there this summer. She was raped about a month and a half ago, and is now pregnant. Her baby is due in late December. We have talked about our future together, and we both agree that we want us to be together. She seems to be honest about everything. Says she would make it so I am the only guy in her life, and I am prepared to do the same for her. With all of these facts, could you give me some advice as to what you might be able to predict? I really want things between her and me to work, and regardless of if you tell me what I do not want to hear, I'm still going to try. Sincerely, Ryan

P.S.-(please tell me what I want to hear:)...)

A. Youthful and virtual love at first website...a nearly irresistible combination. I think it's great you've made a new friend with whom you can be honest. I encourage you to meet if only to give some reality to your long distance longings. Also, some caution flags. First, emailing, even talking on the phone, feeling this electronic chemistry and compatibility, does not make hitting it off a slam dunk. Try not to make preconditions, that is, that it's a done deal that you two are eternal soulmates. (Hey, it sounds like you're just getting out of high school, or is it college?)