The Stress Doc Letter
Cybernotes from the Online Psychohumorist

MAY 2007, No. I, Sec. II
Main
Essay:
The
Stress Doc uses a recent workshop experience at Ft. Hood to examine the power of
seemingly contradictory thinking. The capacity for relating opposition and
unity is not just a tool for “out of the box” and double-edged or multifaceted
thinking, but is a paradoxical pathway for imaginative wit and wisdom.
On Becoming “Positively Negative”: The Seven
Purposeful, Passionate and Playful Dynamics of Contrary and Creative Thinking
After a
well-received “Practice Safe Stress” program in the fall, I was asked to return
to Fort Hood to participate in a May 2007 First Cavalry Battalion Mid-Deployment
Pulse Check. In light of the unexpected extension of the tours of duties for
the soldiers involved with the Iraq War, the leadership was interested in
assessing stress levels of: a) the soldiers’ spouses and family members living
on or near the base and b) of the volunteer leaders (usually the wives of the
senior military leaders) and military personnel providing support services to
the Fort Hood community. (Caregiver “compassion fatigue” is a wide-ranging
concern these days, both for many health and social agencies or institutions, as
well as for the family member responsible for an infirmed elderly parent.) And
the second goal was to provide stress management and morale-building tools for
those at the home front.
In addition to
the “Stress Doc “ ™ there were two other presenters: a disabled Vietnam Vet,
currently a pastor and motivational speaker, and a former paratrooper now a Ft.
Hood medical doctor and clinic director. The speakers were given the following
expert/subject labels: Emotional, Medical and Spiritual. However, I decided to
quickly break out of my category box. Early on I noted that a capacity for
purposefully imaginative and flexible thinking might often influence our
emotions as much as our emotions influence our thoughts and beliefs. I then
said, “Let’s see if we can both stir up some emotional angst as well as
challenge ourselves to think more sharply…. It’s time for a surprise quiz!”
A
Challenging Thinking Exercise
Actually, the
quiz is a word-association exercise, and I’ve been using it in a number of
different programs related to high performance motivation as well as
“Discovering Your Passion Power.”
The purpose of
the exercise is to challenge participants to expand the way they process and
organize information and, ultimately, to influence how they make perceptions and
judgments. More broadly, the exercise engages the following questions related
to rigid or flexible cognitive capacity, that is can you develop a perspective
or mind path that: a) reflects both an appreciation for individual parts as
well as a holistic sensibility, b) often challenges or pokes playfully at the
conventional while seeing the past as a perennial power source, and c):
simultaneously still encourages fresh, out of the box and, even, provocative
vision, thought and expression? I believe an interactive workshop exercise
based on an academic research project may illuminate a key
cognitive-psychological component of this paradoxical heart-mind-spirit
essence. And it’s a dynamic that is also connected to creative perspective.
Let me outline
the nature of the study, the workshop exercise steps and then its modus
operandi. Dr. Albert Rothenberg, a Yale cognitive psychologist and
psychiatrist, paired a word association test and a creative personality
inventory to assess whether there is a correlation between high scores on the
personality measure and ways of free-associating to a list of words. I have
modified and simplified his study in this manner. One at a time, I read off ten
common words (“warm,” “tiny,” “dry,” etc.) asking audience members to first copy
the word and then to write their immediate association. (I usually have the
words up on a screen.) I then ask people to evaluate their responses based on
three broad categories: was their word a “synonym” (or similar to the word I
read), a “personal or unique” response (e.g., associating the word “cat” to the
word “warm” because you feel your cat’s warmth when you snuggle), or an
“antonym” (or opposite association)? After each person categorizes their
response list I have them break up into small groups and share and discuss their
word choices. By a show of hands, I determine the numbers comprising the
response categories. Synonyms and unique/personal responses are fairly even in
count; these two usually account for 90% or more of the total category
responses. (I may playfully comment: “Guess, we’ve identified the deviants in
the room.”)
However, I
still have not shared the true purpose of the exercise. After, a few minutes of
group sharing, I then discuss Dr. Rothenberg’s interest in the way creative
personalities free-associate eventually asking the group which category they
believe correlates most closely with creative personality measure. (I also
reassure everyone, “that this is only one crude measurement. And that if we
used other measures I’m sure all would, in Lake Woebegone-like fashion, score
above average on a creativity scale.”) Perhaps seeing the sharp contrast in
numbers between the opposite responders and the other two categories challenges
people to consider “antonyms” as the creative catalyst.
So what
specifically makes oppositional association or simultaneous contradictory
thinking such a powerful tool for imaginatively breaking out of a mental and
operational box? Consider the “Seven Purposeful, Passionate and Playful
Dynamics of Contrarily Creative Thinking”:
1. Question
the Conventional, Challenge the Status Quo and Link Demons and Directions.
Oppositional thinking often takes on tired and true assumptions and mindless
habits. It often challenges authority or “the way it’s always been” tradition.
And the more high-minded the principle or inflated the ego, the greater the
incentive to skewer the rigid and/or self-righteous. Perhaps von Oech, in his
book, Whack on the Side of the Head, said it best “Sacred cows make great
steaks.” (Though this mantra may not go down easily with some vegans.)
In addition to
challenging authority and convention, creative people often need to express
their genuine individuality. Their desire goes beyond just a need to be
contrary or different. These individuals need to hear and are not afraid to
follow the beat of their uncommon inner drummer. In fact, Edvard Munch, the
great 19th century Norwegian painter, best known for his famous work,
“The Scream,” claimed that his anxieties and neuroses actually gave him
direction and a sense of purpose. Without his inner demons he would have been
lost.
2. See
Spatial-Psychological Relationships, Including Both Sides to Achieve Multiple
and/or Mature Perspective.
By definition, oppositional thinking means you are aware of some existing
premise or position and that you are thinking in comparative and contrasting
terms. For example, free-associating on a word test with an opposite term means
you are not just reacting subjectively or spontaneously. Actually, you are
anchoring both words in some kind of cognitive, psychological and/or
spatial-temporal relationship, e.g., above-below, before-after, front-back,
etc.
While an issue
may seem “black or white” or “good vs. evil,” juxtaposing opposites provides
opportunity for transcending “all or none” and “right vs. wrong” thinking. I
bet you’ve encountered a pairing of emotional and behavioral opposites that
provides an evocative description for a behavior that can be maddening:
“passive-aggressive.” A person may understand that wise stress management maxim
of, “Giving of yourself and giving to yourself.” (As someone who I can’t recall
noted, character is developed through social interaction, integrity through
solitary pursuit.)
An ability to
see both sides of an issue, to be able to look beyond your own needs,
preferences and biases, to acknowledge if not embrace even an antagonist’s
position, often enhances or perhaps defines your capacity for empathy. Being
able to walk a mile in an opponent’s shoes is often a sign of emotional
intelligence or an excellent EI building activity. (Maybe physical
intelligence/empathy as well if you can also relate to their bunions.)
Of course, a
lack of empathy can also be exposed and lampooned. For example, I recall an old
New Yorker cartoon that deftly and delightfully transcended overly
righteous or rigid self-importance with a hip skewering of the same. A nattily
attired, pompous looking publisher standing behind his power desk begins to
chastise a humbly dressed, hat in hand Charles Dickens: "Really, Mr.
Dickens…was it the best of times or was it the worst of times? It could
scarcely have been both!"
In addition,
using a double-edged, seemingly contradictory perspective not only works when
engaging self-centered and one-dimensional antagonists. Such a mindset can even
enrich a warm fuzzy concept with near universal appeal – TLC. Using a seemingly
oppositional framework, TLC now may have an even more motivational utility and
value: “Tender Loving Criticism” and “Tough Loving Care.”
Actually, for
the acclaimed 20th century novelist, F. Scott Fitzgerald, breaking through such
“black or white” barriers was a sign of real cognitive maturity and
proficiency: “The test of a first rate intellect is the capacity to hold two
opposed ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to
function. For example one should see things as hopeless yet be determined to
make them otherwise.” And such cognitive agility further helps develop
flexibility, complexity and hipness.
3. Generate a
Broader and Deeper, a More Novel and Complex Perspective.
As a way of delving into this enriched oppositional perspective, let me ask a
couple of questions: Are you a beach person or a mountain person? Do you often
engage with emotional memories from the past or frequently draw on past
experience and historical perspective to enrich current understanding or do you
only live for the present? Perhaps you frequently escape via futuristic
reverie? While I don’t have conclusive evidence, I suspect hip or
creative-types tend to live in multiple worlds. To draw on an observation by
acclaimed 20th century English author, John Fowles (The Collector,
The Magus, The French Lieutenant’s Woman, etc.), as a writer the past is his
electric current; he needs to be plugged into this power source. Personally, I
must grapple with painful memories to be truly myself and true to myself.
Facing and feeling the breadth and depth of my past means living more fully in
the present and planning more fearlessly for the future.
Actually,
oppositional thinking and doing is at the essence of my personal and
professional being. This mindset certainly has challenged me to expand my
career roles and professional skillsets. My seemingly contradictory framework
is composed of two seemingly distinct personae: 1) a more quiet, reflective and
introverted “Cave Persona” and 2) a more extroverted, outgoing, charming and
dynamic, if not a tad manic, “Stage Persona.” And these cage and stage
temperaments certainly both reflect and predispose me toward two different role-skillsets:
a.
Clinician/Author – these roles reflects my interest in and need to explore
the serious, emotionally poignant and dark sides of human nature; and believe me
the need to explore begins at home. Both focused, sequential and analytical
listening as well as well as soft, intuitive and empathic listening along with
probing and reflective questioning are vital aspects of the roles of therapist
and writer. Of course, listening to one’s own inner voice or soul is critical
and foundational, and
b. Public
Speaker/Performer – this role allows me to be a bit larger than life – I can
be silly, theatrical and outrageous. I often channel aggressive energy into
playfully biting humor or dramatic expression; irreverent wit may turn into
light-hearted messages of enlightenment. And while noted above as a “cave”
persona role, interestingly, at times, my writing draws on both skillsets.
While there’s an obvious quiet and reflective side essential to creative
writing, yet it frequently involves tapping into aggressive and whimsically
empathic energy, especially when attempting to turn wit into wisdom. I’m
reminded of the title of a drive time “Stress Brake” radio essay on burnout:
“Breaking Out of a Hell of a Shell or Don’t Feel Too Sorry for Humpty Dumpty He
Needed to Hit Bottom.”
So having two
sharply distinguished personae and role sets provides opportunity to integrate
these seemingly contradictory states into an uncommonly rich synthesis. For
example, speaking programs convey both an insightful depth and generate
childlike exuberance. In fact, I had to invent (and trademark) a term to
capture the double-edged, yin- and yang-like complexity of my professional
identity – “Psychohumorist” ™. (Of course, I let my audience decide where the
emphasis on this word should go!)
And this
double-edged yet integrative nature and expression not only yields an unusual
blend of substance and style; it also produces an uncommon impact on others:
“You really love what you do” and “You have great energy” are common
post-performance observations from audience members. And they are right. But
why is this so? Certainly I love the spotlight and the attention. You may know
that familiar aphorism: “Vanity thy name is Gorkin!” Hey my public persona
mantra: “To get so much exposure that I’m finally arrested for indecency!”
And while the
above has some truth (maybe even more than I want to fully admit), there’s
another reason for my exuberance and energy: being on stage allows me to draw
on and release my fullest self – from the emotionally sensitive and reflective
thinker, writer and therapist to the aggressive, irreverent and outrageous
performer. I also have biochemical license to cycle a bit manic and
melancholy. Actually, I have license to break out of traditional or
“appropriate” categories. I have license to project a deeper and broader, a
more complex and creative, more cool or hip perspective and persona.
4. Perceive
Shades of Gray and Figure-Ground Reversal or Irony.
If you can see a connection between black and white, perhaps you can even see
these two hues yielding a mix of gray. Or perhaps you can envision partly
overlapping black and white circles (a Venn Diagram) so that now there’s a
section of gray sandwiched between black and white crescent-shaped moons. (An
ex-teacher provided an illustration of how she used Venn Diagrams to help her
third graders understand comparison and contrast. She had them draw two separate
circles, one with the traits and characteristics of dogs and the other with the
traits and characteristics of cats. She then had them overlap the circles where
the household pets displayed common qualities while the separate parts of the
circles contained their differing natures.)
This
visualization can help illuminate how the color gray or, for example, consensus
forged from contradictory positions, is a product of creating common ground or
overlapping space between oppositional black and white positions or figures. Or
in political terms, with our current Red State vs. Blue State dichotomy,
Independent Voters may one day forge a Purple Party or, depending on the issue,
may display shades of purple while still having basic blue or red sentiment.
But perhaps the
best way of generating a sense of gradation is through polar opposites tension
depicted as end points of a spectrum. For example, think of the color spectrum
– red gradually shading into purple, purple shading into blue, etc. Or consider
the flexible and optimal tension of a violin string that allows for a maximal
variety and quality of tone and pitch. So instead of black or white, all or
none, right or wrong, high or low dichotomy, you can operate with fractions and
make subtle differentiations and discriminations. You are not just cold and hot
(unless, like my good lady friend, you are subjected to one of those hot
flashes), but experience degrees or shades of warmth or coolness.
Oppositional
thinking also facilitates a capacity for figure-ground reversal, for example
seeing the interplay between parts and the whole or the forest and the trees.
And a facility for reversal (and opposition) would seem to encourage a capacity
for irony: the utterance or use of words that expresses a meaning which
understates the effect intended or which is often the direct opposite of the
literal meaning (The Random House Dictionary of the English Language: The
Unabridged Edition). Consider this heaven and earth ironic reversal. I recall
a steward on a Southwest Airlines flight going through the pre-flight
orientation. He had just finished demonstrating the use of the oxygen mask. An
uneasy quiet seemed to go hand in hand with his holding aloft a seat cushion as
a potential floating device. Suddenly with perfect timing the steward
announced, “As we will be going over water for part of this trip, in the
unlikely event that this flight becomes a cruise…” Now waves of laughter seemed
to roll down the aisles of the plane.
Finally, being
able to flexibly view points of overlap, to make fine distinctions or reversals
means you can place ideas and actions in a variety of contexts. I’ve always
admired this example. In the middle of a heavily traveled New Orleans roadway,
frequently a site of traffic jams, there was a large billboard. The billboard
was soliciting future advertisers. It’s pithy ploy and double-edged
perspective: “To you it’s a traffic jam, for us it’s an audience!”
5. Stimulate
Creative Confusion.
Frequently,
it’s not an easy task relating and reconciling opposition. Finding common
ground or perceiving analogous properties or similarities between things
seemingly unlike may take a keen or clever mind. Actually, according to
renowned author and humorist, Mark Twain, this cognitive agility is the essence
of “wit”: the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not
perceived to have any relation.
With Twain’s
definition in mind, what I’m about to say may seem counterintuitive: “Ahas!”
don’t just happen. Akin to their human counterparts, conceptual opposites may
attract but they don’t necessarily make cool or creative connections…at least
not without some back and forth if not stormy interrelating. Grappling with
contradiction often generates an initial conceptual mind field of uncertainty,
confusion and frustration. The psychiatrist, Richard Rabkin, called this state
“thrustration.”
Continuing with
our conjugal or at least human relational metaphor, I’ve defined “thrustration”
as being torn between thrusting ahead with direct action and frustration, as you
have not been able to put together all the pieces of the puzzle. And, at this
point, it’s best to stop trying to willpower a solution or conceptual
connection. Take a time out; distract your conscious mind by walking in a
forest, hitting a tennis ball or taking a bike ride or a nap. In other words,
take an “incubation vacation” to hatch the new, the unexpected and the creative,
that is, that “Aha!” perspective.
A Catalyst
for Reflection and Persuasion
Another 19th
century man of letters, the philosopher and educator, John Dewey, captured the
fertile ground possibility in conflict and contradiction: Conflict is the
gadfly of thought. It stirs us to observation and memory. It shocks us out of
sheep-like passivity. It instigates to invention and sets us at noting and
contriving. Conflict is the sine qua non of reflection and ingenuity. Sounds
pretty cool to me!
Finally,
there’s a power negotiation tactic worth noting when dealing with someone
opposed to your premise. Present your viewpoint and then encourage your
antagonist to challenge your position. This may have a counterintuitive effect;
you may be inducing some confusion and subsequent openness. That is, since
arguments are often less about facts and figures and more about the actual or
perceived status of the individuals in the relationship, when you accept such a
challenge or rebuttal you are helping the other party feel less subservient and
more in control. And, lo and behold, once having exercised the freedom to
disagree or criticize, the antagonist may just become more predisposed to
acknowledge the value of your argument, if not adopt your original contrary
position.
This
negotiation dynamic even can work with that frustrating, often
passive-aggressive “stress carrier”…the “Yes, butter.” As I like to say:
If you can
get a person who says, “Yes, but”
To openly rebut
Even if they may be a pain in the…
You can often get them to say, “But, yes!”
6. Reveals a
Wiser, Paradoxical or Higher Truth. Engaging with opposition and contradiction
not only helps make you broader and more complex in your thinking, but it may
also facilitate a capacity for not just wit but also for wisdom. Wit, as was
noted above, is often the quick apprehension and clever expression of the
analogous properties among things seemingly unlike or contradictory. If being
clever often involves the capacity for the unexpected connection of ideas as
well as for irreverence and insight, then I have one pithy example – a wise
witticism that reconciles seeming contradiction and reveals a truth about the
vagaries of human nature. (Hey, my goal in life is to be both a “Wise Man” and
a “Wise Guy.”) It’s my classic holiday joke, and it’s a tool for preserving
your sanity during the gathering of the tribe. Basically you need to understand
the difference between “holiday blues” and “holiday stress.” Now “holiday
blues” is the
feeling of loss or sadness that you have when, for whatever reason, over
the holidays you cannot be with those people who have been or are special or
significant. And “holiday stress”…is when you have to be with some of those
people! We all can relate and knowingly share a laugh. Once again, grappling
with seemingly contradictory tendencies actually reveals an aspect of your
nature and, more broadly, of human nature.
Or consider
this perceptive observation of human need and motivation by the pioneering film
genius, Charlie Chaplin: A paradoxical thing about making comedy is that it is
precisely the tragic which arouses the funny. We have to laugh due to our
helplessness in the face of natural forces and in order not to go crazy.
Yin and Yang: Symbol of Synthesis
Grappling with
opposition was essential to the theorizing of the renowned 19th
century German philosopher, Friederich Hegel. Hegel posited that a starting
point or position – a “Thesis” – when contrasted with its opposite – an
“Antithesis” – can generate sufficient tension to yield a higher order concept
or integrative “Synthesis.” One way of literally envisioning higher order
synthesis is through the Eastern integrative symbol of dynamic holism –
Yin/Yang. Yin has been described as representing receptive or devoted
(sometimes called female) energy while Yang typically represents active or
potent (male) energy. (Although, I’m involved with an AARP card-carrying woman
who definitely belies this traditional categorization.) And usually this higher
order synthesis is achieved by depicting these energies as two separate,
mercurial, squash-like figures, one dark, one light, flowing into each other to
form a unified whole. And within each of these parts of a whole lies a dot –
black in the white yin segment, white in the dark yang segment. The dot is not
unlike a contrasting seed in a womb. The placement of these oppositional dots
reveals the paradoxical truth that the seed in the Yang configuration is the
genesis of Yin energy while the Yin seed nurtures Yang potentiality. (One quick
example comes to mind: how a healthy fight that affirms both parties and clears
the air may turn partners into ardent lovers.)
This notion of
one form of energy or nature being the precursor of its seeming antithesis also
reminds me of two poetic “grief and rebirth” insights penned years ago:
For
the Phoenix to rise from the ashes
One must know the pain
To transform the fire to burning desire!
And,
Whether the loss is a key
person, a desired position or a powerful illusion each deserves the respect of a
mourning. The pit in the stomach, the clenched fists and quivering jaw, the
anguished sobs prove catalytic in time. In mystical fashion, like Spring upon
Winter, the seeds of dissolution bear fruitful renewal.
These two “one
must die to be reborn” quotes combined with the insights found in the “holiday
blues” joke and Chaplin’s prescient pairing of comedy and tragedy lead us to a
fundamental aspect of cognitive courage and flexiblity and a key component of
the creative process: an ability to cry and laugh, to “let go” (even of the
loved object or idea) and to grapple with our fears as necessary conditions for
exploring anew.
Having focused
on grieving, let’s appropriately close with two pithy quotes on laughter, quotes
that reveal, actually, the contrary yet evolving interrelationship between fear
and laughter, competence and courage. The first is from psychiatrist, Ernst
Kris: “What was once feared and is now mastered is laughed at.”
The second is
the Stress Doc’s inversion of the first: “What was once feared and is now
laughed at is no longer a master.”
And our final
strategic segment will further examine this capacity for being bold and brazen.
7. Encourage
Daring and Defiance.
Clearly, with
an oppositional predisposition to question the conventional, self-righteous or
status quo and/or armed with a “higher truth” you are often ready to embark on a
path that may be grand or grandiose (or maybe both. Hopefully, yours is a
non-fundamentalist or fanatical truth.) Seeing what others can’t or won’t see,
perceiving more sides, subtleties or possibilities to a thorny issue has the
potential for generating uncommon vision and vistas and fresh pathways and
processes.
Of course, to
see and think anew not only means getting out of the box; sometimes the box may
have to be knocked down or blown up. As one of the giants of 20th
century art, Pablo Picasso (a man of many, and not always endearing, paradoxical
qualities) observed: Every act of creation is first of all an act of
destruction. (Here’s where fanaticism can be quite problematic: When your
goal is to create an absolutely pure or “righteous” society, then if you are not
with us you are “unpatriotic.” Or another’s sinful ways must be shamed and
condemned, and sometimes the sinner must be exterminated.
Picasso also
proposed another paradoxical epiphany: Art is the lie that reveals a greater
truth!
What does he mean by these
observations? And what is the connection between daring and defiance and being
creative, conscious and current? And how may this path reveal a wise or
compassionate “higher or greater truth?”
First, why
might conceptual or symbolic (though sometimes literal) destruction be a
necessary catalyst for generating novel or innovative perspective, process or
plan? In my mind, you often have to break habit chains or “less tried and just
accepted as true” assumptions in order to see, think and design in a novel or
fresh way. And while the tearing down, explosion or breaking apart process may
be painful, it paves the way for two essentials for creative exploration: 1) it
clears the familiar playing field; you have a new (or mostly clean) canvas to
work with and 2) it often induces a state of uncertainty and confusion which may
drive you to perceive and build fresh or unexpected, perhaps even fantastic
(i.e., the exaggerated lie begetting truth) connections or relationships among
the ideas and/or elements in your problem-solving field.
Designing
Team Energy and Synergy
Let me
illustrate these two paradoxes – destruction for creation, lie for truth – by
sketching my signature “psychohumorist” ™, “team discussion and team drawing”
speaking or workshop program exercise. Participants are divided into small
groups (4-6 people/group). They are given about ten minutes to identify sources
workplace stress and conflict. That’s the easy part. Then in the same amount
of time, the group must produce a team picture that captures the individual
stress perspectives. Invariably, a number of the participants experience some
confusion, if not anxiety, at the prospect of transforming individual
perspective into collective visualization. But once the group realizes they
have to discard or replace linear and logical thinking with visual metaphor and
holistic figure-ground story telling through pictures, suddenly the conceptual
and operational fog lifts…And creative energy and laughter erupts.
Here’s one of
my favorite designs. The audience was comprised of NASA and Lockheed Martin
supervisors and managers. There definitely was a preponderance of analytical,
left-brained individuals. There was considerable workplace anxiety; news of
budget cuts and personnel reorganization was in the air. One picture (done on
full-size flipchart paper with broad-tipped colored markers) was a classic. On
a cliff is a devil-like figure, with pointy ears and a long tail, with a trident
in one hand, a whip in the other. The executive/devil is driving this flock of
sheep to the cliff’s edge and beyond. Actually, the sheep have only one
option: jumping off the cliff. And the safety net below has gaping holes.
While the content is an exaggeration, you can’t miss the emotional message. And
did you note the oppositional pairing of the devil and the sheep?
After another
workshop, I recall a CEO observing, “I get written reports all the time. But
these drawings give me a clearer sense of what’s really going on in the
trenches.” Perhaps a vivid picture that provides a wide perspective can induce
a “higher truth.”
Which brings
us to the second Picasso Paradox: As the devil vs. sheep picture illustrates
art may create exaggerations and even absurd illusions. Art may also heighten
emotional identification by placing oppositional tension in a familiar and/or
novel or surprising psychological and situational context. The viewer sees
images and ideas from a new perspective or through a new framework. Artful
opposition can readily bring to the surface and into focus the psychic
underground. Art may well reveal or clarify a higher, wider and/or deeper as
well as more daring emotional truth.
Closing
Summary
Using cognitive
complexity as a launching pad, this article has highlighted “Seven Contrary
and Creative Purposes and Payoffs of Oppositional Thinking”:
1. Question the
Conventional or Expressively Disrupt the Commonplace or Status Quo
2. See Spatial-Psychological
Relationships, Including Both Sides to Achieve Multiple or Mature Perspective
3. Generate a
Broader and Deeper, a More Novel and Complex Perspective
4. Perceive
Shades of Gray
5. Stimulate
Creative Confusion
6. Reveal a
Paradoxical or Higher Truth
7. Encourage
Daring and Defiance
Learning to
think in oppositional categories, to see multiple facets and to integrate
contradiction and seemingly scattered ideas and elements is a powerful tool for
challenging habits and assumptions, taking on “sacred cows,” and perceiving and
conceptualizing with real imagination and boldness. It’s a
psycho-spatial-relational framework for exploring, realizing and expressing your
fullest self. Oppositional processing is a vital pathway to being cool,
seemingly contradictory yet, ultimately, creative and perhaps equally important
it’s your passport for learning how to…Practice Safe Stress!

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There are satirical essays on "lean-and-MEAN" managers and on mismanaged
downsizings. Learn to "laugh in the face of layoffs" and ponder the possibility
of "Van Gogh, Prozac, and Creativity." The Stress Doc also shares his his own
trials, errors, and triumphs in battling the "Toxic Trio."
Safe Stress provides many discrete "Top Ten" lists and "strategic tips" essays
useful as educational/informational handouts. To quote the Internet Newsroom:
Your Guide to the World of Electronic Factgathering: "The most outstanding
feature…is his 'psychohumor' essays. Always witty, thought-provoking, and
helpful." With this easy-to-follow, fast-paced, and fun health and wellness
guide, you'll return often to Practice Safe Stress.
----------------------
b) The Four Faces of Anger: Model and Method
Transforming Anger, Rage and Conflict Into Inspiring Attitude and Behavior
The "Four Faces of Anger" presents an elegantly simple yet intellectually
powerful model that will challenge your beliefs about anger -- both regarding
its range of emotion and its potential for positive communication. The book is
a dynamic blend of popular psychohumor articles, essays, case examples and short
vignettes, as well as Stress Doc Q & As and even "Shrink Rap" ™ lyrics. You
will gain ideas and tools, skills and techniques for personal control, playful
intervention and conflict mastery. Learn to:
Ø Identify self-defeating styles of anger and violence-prone personalities
Ø Transform hostility and rage into assertion and passion
Ø Confront directly or disarm outrageously critics and (passive) aggressors
Ø Bust the guilt not burst a gut
Ø Prevent emails from becoming e-missiles
And finally, his years as a multimedia psychotherapist and as a Stress and
Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service yield a survival and
spiritual mantra at the heart of the "Four Faces of Anger":
Seek the higher power of Stress Doc humor…May the Farce Be With You!
Published: 2004; Pages: 116 [Book size: 9"x12"]
Paperback: Price: $20 + $5.00 priority shipping in US; $7 for shipping in
Mexico and Canada; other international destinations to be determined
E-Book: $15
---------------
2. Training/Marketing Kit
I'm confident my speaking and training program can expand the interactivity, fun
and memorability quotient of your stress (or other program) presentations. An
insurance agent, who had never led a stress seminar before purchased the kit,
including 2 hours telephone coaching, and said the results were "awesome." He's
gotten follow-up requests. Feel free to email or call Ryan Yoch for a
testimonial: runyouchrun@aol.com or 618-234-6679.
---------------------------------------------
Mark Gorkin
Stress Doc Enterprises
9629 Elrod Road
Kensington, MD 20895
301-946-0865
Three Levels of Program/Service:
A. Stress Management Marketing/Training Kit: $200
B. Coaching/Consultation Services Fee: $200
C. Training/Marketing Kit and Coaching Combo Cost: $300

Mark Gorkin, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, is a psychotherapist and
"Motivational Humorist" whose Interactive Keynotes and Kickoffs draw wide and
"amazing" acclaim -- from Fortune 100s and Federal Agencies to around the world
with Celebrity Cruise Lines. An OD/Team Building Consultant, Mark is the
author of Practice Safe Stress: Healing and Laughing in the Face of Stress,
Burnout & Depression and of The Four Faces of Anger: Transforming Anger, Rage,
and Conflict Into Inspiring Attitude and Behavior. Also, the Doc is AOL's
"Online Psychohumorist" ™ running his weekly "Shrink Rap ™ and Group Chat." See
his award winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- cited as a
workplace resource by National Public Radio (NPR). Finally, Mark is an advisor
to The Bright Side ™ -- www.the-bright-side.org -- a multi-award winning mental
health resource. Email for his monthly newsletter showcased on List-a-Day.com.
For more info on the Doc's speaking and training programs, call or email the
"Stress Doc": 301-946-0865 or stressdoc@aol.com . And to view web video
highlights of a Stress Doc Keynote, go to
http://www.stressdoc.com/media_downloads.htm .
(c) Mark Gorkin 2007
Shrink Rap Productions