Ask the Stress Doc -- Q & A
Q. Dear StressDoc,
First, I want to ask you to keep me anonymous because a lot of people know my screen name.
Please offer me advice on what to do about being overlooked for promotions despite outstanding performance, being ignored as a person, and disrespected (sometimes blatantly) by people who have never evaluated me for who I am. I am a hard working person who would like to get judged according to my contribution. For well over three years now I have been working for a high tech company where I am the only female in the group (I believe it is a coincidence that I am the only female). On many ocassions, I have been recognized one way or another for my outstanding work performance. Perhaps only 10% of my co- workers have ever received an award. My performance rating has always been "outstanding." The only promotion during this time was not given to me as a reward for good work; my supervisor told me it was the only way to adjust my income to the average. Frequently, I train people who hold much higher posts and therefore should know much more than I do. I once went to my boss's boss with my first and only complaint about my boss's unfair action of telling us we cannot go to a specialized training, then giving a brand new co-worker the same training that nobody else was going to be sent to "because he was new." My boss's boss responded by telling me that I don't know how things are run in this country because I have not been in this country long enough. You see, I am not originally from the United States, but I never had to work before I came here ten years ago. So, as I told my boss's boss, I wouldn't know the difference between how you do things here and in another country, I was only doing what I knew was the right thing. My boss finally admitted that he was wrong, but only after he skipped me over for a couple of promotions; he even took away a leadership responsibility I had been assigned just before I complained about him.
A. Of course I will respect your request for anonymity. I liked the way you responded to your boss' boss when he tried to deflate you with, "(You) don't know how things are run in this country." His statement was demeaning and manipulative. Is there a Human Resources Dept. in your company? Have you spoken with them? Will they intervene? If not, are you willing to pursue legal action?
Two other suggestions: 1) have a three way meeting with your boss and his boss. The purpose of the meeting is to lay out a path that will get you a promotion in six months. See if they will commit to paper what performance objectives and outcomes need to be met to achieve your promotional goal. And then set up a monthly monitoring meeting to review progress. If at any point you feel they are not negotiating or reviewing your performance in good faith, I would consider moving on. Clearly, you will not find a reasonable and equitable perfromance-promotion system nor opportunity to advance under the biased rule of thumb of these managers.
The "harshness" could be necessary assertive/survival skills or even a sign of creeping burnout. Maybe both. Beware the latter overtaking the former. Remember...Practice Safe Stress!
Q. I work for the Postal Service; I know that should be explaination enough, and I work everyday with supervisors that aren't qualified enough to teach a child to crawl! It is extremely frustrating at the DC Post Office because all the supervisors care about is their Xmas bonus at the end of the year. Everyday you are pushed and harrassed to work off the clock and violate our National Agreement contract. It has gotten so bad that I am actually considering a change of employment after 11 years on the job! Favoritism, discrimination, harrassment is the soup of the day at the Post Office with very little recourse. I know people think the Post Office is such a good job; believe me the grass is allways greener on the other side!
A. Having been a stress and conflict resolution/violence prevention consultant for USPS for several years, I know there is much reality in your email. While the fact that the mail never stops makes the work time and task- drive, there are still too many supervisors (not all, progress has been made) who have a too aggressive, too authoritarian style of bossing more than supervising.
Four strategies come to mind:
1) See if other employees are willing to have a meeting with the supervisor about working conditions. Try to get your union rep and/or shop steward involved. 2) Go to your Employee Assistance Program (EAP) Counselor. He or she sometimes can get a superviosr's or manager's ear. Or the counselor might be able to talk the supervisor into having a team meeting. 3) Have a grouip of employees speak to your MDO -- Manager of Distribution Operations, or an equivalent level of upper management. If an MDO receives several complaints from employees, they may investigate trouble on the work floor. Of course, these folks risk being labeled a troublemaker. Then again, as Kris Kristopherson penned, "Freedom's just another word for having nothing left to lose." 4) And if none of these steps are operational...yes, it's time to forsake so- called "job security." Burning out or developing stress-related physical illness is not worth it. Get the resume updated, get additional training, if necessary, and take charge of your career path. And, of course...Practice Safe Stress!